I’ve finally become the king of Snow Empire at the age of 350 years old. I stood at the great wall of Ren Xue Cheng (Ren City of Snow), and I saw the crowd below. I heard their cheers and they were all calling for me. “Ka Suo, our great king.” These people have never seen a successor with such long hair, but I was the only one that knew about it. That was the continuation of Shi’s soul within my life. Silvery-white hair flying in the cold wind, and somehow I heard Shi’s soul singing high up in the sky. I heard him whispering softly. “Ge, please be free…”
I could feel the trace of loneliness that Shi’s hair had left on my body, and their owner had died a long time ago under my sword. The white bloodstain, the outstretched fingers, the blooming lotus… Everything was just like stars of an astrological chart, but no one was able to understand how much despairs were being buried, Xing Jiu wasn’t able to and so was I.
Whenever I looked at the sky, I would see the s...o...b..rd flying past hurriedly. Its hoa.r.s.e cry sounded so depressing that it would make one tear. I could see Li Luo standing tall on the unicorn. I could see her manipulating the snow happily. I could see Lan Sang swimming in the sea as swiftly as a b.u.t.terfly, and I could hear the mermaids’ night singing throughout the entire Snow Empire. I could see the naughty Shi when he was still a child; his smile was handsome yet evil and his hair were flying loosely. I could see his left hand holding a ma.s.s of dancing snow, while his right hand was holding a ma.s.s of flicking fire and there were countless blooming red lotuses at his feet.
My younger brother loved me the most, but he loved too tragically and he was like a totally naïve kid. Despite the fact that he has the perfect feature of a mature man, his heart was just like a kid that has never grown up – stubborn and vulnerable. His spiritual power may be stronger than mine, but he just died under my sword without any resistance. When he was dying, he was still smiling but there was sadness in that smile. It was because he couldn’t give me the freedom I yearned for; he couldn’t stand with me on the great city wall, and enjoyed the wind blowing into our robes. He couldn’t be together with me to return to snow fog forest, to return to the very beginning.
Li Luo was the greatest sorceress who was being buried in the depth of Ice Sea by my father, and also the beautiful woman that accompanied me to sit on the roof when I was having my insomnia. And also Lan Sang, the girl that loved me so wholeheartedly. When I saw her tail, I clenched my fist tightly to control my emotion till my nails cut deeply into my palms. Once the crowd dispersed, my tears fell down uncontrollably onto her glistening white hair.
However they were all dead now, I could only reach out my hand towards the pale blue sky. Holding on to the nothingness in the air.
The palace maids and guards were all saying that I was the loneliest king in the history. In the daytime, I would be holding the lambskin illusionist code, leaning against the cherry blossom tree, learning the ancient and rare illusion magic. And when it’s nighttime, I would sit on the roof and watch the stars, occasionally there would have cherry blossom petals blowing from afar falling onto my shoulders, which I would put it into my mouth and chew it. Sometimes I could hear the laughing of the children and the breathing of the snow fog forest, and that was when I laughed lightly and looked up at the sky.
Cold wind blew past; it blew past fiercely.
Days went past peacefully like that as well.
One day I remembered the time when I was still living in snow fog forest time, granny would always rest her head on her palm and stroked my hair delicately, saying. “Ka Suo, when you becomes the king of Snow Empire, your life will become as calm as the river water suddenly for thousand years, for ten thousand years, they will pa.s.s by quietly.”
I was a lonely king. According to the practice of the Snow Empire, after abdication, the king could no longer stay in the city, and that would include the queen and concubines. They have to move to Mt. Huan Xue and lived there in seclusion. This was why I would always hear my lonely footsteps in the huge palace. It’s because I didn’t have a queen or a concubine, because I couldn’t forget Li Luo and Lan Sang, those kind and affectionate girls. I would always dream of Li Luo getting down from the unicorn, kneeling before me with both arms crossed in front of her and said to me. “My king, I’ve come to bring you home.” Her smile was so warm, making me not to afraid of the snow. I always dreamt of Lan Sang over and over again of her dying under the cherry blossom tree with her body curled up and tears streaming down from the corner of her eyes.
Sometimes I would go to snow fog forest to play with the children there, teaching them some illusion skills and granny was always by my side, watching me. A boy came up to me and told me this. “You are the best king. Can I become your guard in future?”
I replied him yes. “Then your hair has to be very very long. Your spiritual power is not strong enough, and it’s okay the positions of my four chief guards are still unfilled.” Looking at the boy just reminded me of Shi when he was still a kid. His eyes were big and transparent, just like a girl and the way he laughed was like a blooming cherry blossom, clean and bright.
After some time, granny came to tell me. “Ka Suo, you’re always like a kid. Watching you sitting among the kids, your lonely smile made my heart ached so much.”
Yes, I’m a kid but I had grown up during my 30 years of exile in the mortal world, carrying my brother walking in the earthly dust. Shi had already disappeared into the sky, and now I was wearing the phoenix robe and Xue Lan crown, sitting on the mystical ice throne overlooking at my people, becoming the G.o.d that shone in their heart. But how many of them would know the loneliness in the heart of the G.o.d?
There were times when I wished I could just lie on granny’s knees like several hundred years ago. In the past I could bun up my hair because they were short, but now my hair was so long that they covered my phoenix robe, scattering off the ground. “Ka Suo, your spiritual power is getting stronger.” Granny said.
“Granny, what’s the use of having such strong spiritual power? It is almost like a person guarding a beautiful landscape without any one with you. I have no one that I wanted to protect. Granny, besides Xing Jiu and you, I barely talk to anybody else. I found that I didn’t want to talk to any one; I’ve never felt how empty and vast the city was. It was like a huge and glorious grave.
“Granny, I want to see my parents.” Then I felt her hand, stroking my hair, stopped suddenly.
“My king, you can’t. Mt Huan Xue is a forbidden place. No one from the city is allowed to step into the mountain except the astrologers who can go the Star Sacrificial Altar to read the stars.”
“Why? I just want to see my mother.”
“Ka Suo, after been through so much, you should have understood that there isn’t a reason to certain things. It’s just an imperial rule of the Snow Empire. We may be the superior G.o.ds in the mortals’ hearts, but G.o.d is being imprisoned as well. Ka Suo, you know, the people from the royal family used to have wings on their backs, snow-white wings with soft feathers. Though the royalties may be able to use apparition freely, no one was able to fly now.”
“Granny, why can’t my mother come to see me? I miss her so much.”
“Ka Suo, it’s not that your mother doesn’t want. It’s just that she can’t.”
“Why can’t she?”
“Ka Suo, some things are not supposed to be known, you will understand when the time is right.”
“Then I will ask Xing Jiu.”
“Xing Jiu will not tell you because he is like me, being the greatest astrologer of the Snow Empire, we have the freedom to read the stars and interpret the dreams. No one can be forced. Xing Jiu knows what to say, and what he cannot.”
I looked up at granny’s wrinkled face; her smile was warm yet blurry, like a full-bloomed lotus covered by thick fog. It’s like a distant illusion and I seemed to see Shi’s soul among the clouds, smiling.
A huge s...o...b..rd flew across the sky, its cry torn the pale blue sky. My eyes started to hurt slightly.
—
A few months later I went to Mt Huan Xue, because there was once when I was admiring the withering cherry blossoms at Cherry Blossom Hill, I saw a palace maid who had served Lian Ji before and her hair was ankle long. This would mean she was better and stronger than any sorcerers in the city. But this was almost impossible.
There were too many hidden secrets about Mt Huan Xue. I have to find out.
